Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
entry 2: the comeback
i'll start with an apology. to my more loyal follower(s) i am sorry, i'm not a quitter, thats not my style, i just had to get a lot of thoughts in line before i could jump back on this blog and hit you with my next entry. i'll give you a little run down of what happened since my last post and now.
about a month ago i sat down at my crappy day job (like you do) and started up on blog entry 2. it was suppose to be a testament to changing your life, getting your shit together, and not taking guff from the people who try to tell you wah wahwahwh whatever... this is cut short when my boss cracks my concentration to call me into his office so he can, as nicely as possible, fire me. now i dont want to make my old boss sound like a bad guy, or the oppressive hand of some odd system trying to keep me (the brother man) down... he is a nice guy, and he was just doing his job (punishable on its own i suppose, but not in this case)... and he did have every right to terminate me... why? well never mind you that because i DIDN'T in fact get fired, i quit.. dont ask me how, it was no great feat of wit or brainpower, no extortion or incriminating photos to throw on the desk and threaten to bring down the whole dog and pony show... i was going to get canned and i quit.. so i should retract my prior statement from above and say "i am a quitter". BUT im a quitter that doesnt have to explain to my next potential crappy job why i got canned... for whatever reason, doesnt matter.
it took one clean swipe of my arm to get all the papers, pens, and other trash that had accumulated on my desk into the nearest receptacle. i walked out of my office into bright day (this had all been before noon) and i thought i had better get used to this. no more hiding in my cubicle during the hot hours, emerging later just in time to see the sun off over the buildings giving me enough shade for a comfortable scooter ride home. i remember kick starting my scoot and two deep breathes later i was home, my girlfriend already there after a morning of job hunting. she had recently been fired, wrongfully though, and was tired of being fucked around by the unemployment office, futile emails to unresponsive store managers, and the general state of the job market. she had every right to lay me out with a swift jab across my jaw for screwing us out of the only income our meager yet demanding lifestyles could claim. but she didnt, thank stars, she held me, i felt she forgave me for being the massive fuck up i was, and my mind turned to other less soothing matters.
what now? i needed money, i have a car, and insurance, and a house, and bills, a thirst for strong drinks and preference towards certain illicit substances. im still living in a working world. i dont go to college, i've been living in a cubicle during the day for the last 3 and half years, and any endeavors in music so far have either petered out, taken a very extended hiatus, or piled up in the form of demo cd's and experimental tapes... what now?
maybe i had forgotten how my day started, i thought i was in a position where i could take life by its velvety horns and ask it nicely to DO AS I SAY BEAST! DOWN! as i flip the lever under my swively chair to recline, take a couple spins, and rest my feet on the stack of papers which, in a few short minutes, would be come waste basket liner. fuck me... life, that great bitch, popped it head in my office door and reminded me that i dont know piss. if i really wanted to take reigns and start pulling myself together then i needed to be able to take a look at all my shit, have it all laid out in front of me, and like a bully smacking the books out of my hand in the hallway in middle school that one time that i don't want to talk about... my shit is strewn across the floor right now, and i can stare at all of it.
and now i have to start picking it up...
hmm.. pretty intense stuff, so i'll give you a little candy to ease the pain
this band rules, check them out
about a month ago i sat down at my crappy day job (like you do) and started up on blog entry 2. it was suppose to be a testament to changing your life, getting your shit together, and not taking guff from the people who try to tell you wah wahwahwh whatever... this is cut short when my boss cracks my concentration to call me into his office so he can, as nicely as possible, fire me. now i dont want to make my old boss sound like a bad guy, or the oppressive hand of some odd system trying to keep me (the brother man) down... he is a nice guy, and he was just doing his job (punishable on its own i suppose, but not in this case)... and he did have every right to terminate me... why? well never mind you that because i DIDN'T in fact get fired, i quit.. dont ask me how, it was no great feat of wit or brainpower, no extortion or incriminating photos to throw on the desk and threaten to bring down the whole dog and pony show... i was going to get canned and i quit.. so i should retract my prior statement from above and say "i am a quitter". BUT im a quitter that doesnt have to explain to my next potential crappy job why i got canned... for whatever reason, doesnt matter.
it took one clean swipe of my arm to get all the papers, pens, and other trash that had accumulated on my desk into the nearest receptacle. i walked out of my office into bright day (this had all been before noon) and i thought i had better get used to this. no more hiding in my cubicle during the hot hours, emerging later just in time to see the sun off over the buildings giving me enough shade for a comfortable scooter ride home. i remember kick starting my scoot and two deep breathes later i was home, my girlfriend already there after a morning of job hunting. she had recently been fired, wrongfully though, and was tired of being fucked around by the unemployment office, futile emails to unresponsive store managers, and the general state of the job market. she had every right to lay me out with a swift jab across my jaw for screwing us out of the only income our meager yet demanding lifestyles could claim. but she didnt, thank stars, she held me, i felt she forgave me for being the massive fuck up i was, and my mind turned to other less soothing matters.
what now? i needed money, i have a car, and insurance, and a house, and bills, a thirst for strong drinks and preference towards certain illicit substances. im still living in a working world. i dont go to college, i've been living in a cubicle during the day for the last 3 and half years, and any endeavors in music so far have either petered out, taken a very extended hiatus, or piled up in the form of demo cd's and experimental tapes... what now?
maybe i had forgotten how my day started, i thought i was in a position where i could take life by its velvety horns and ask it nicely to DO AS I SAY BEAST! DOWN! as i flip the lever under my swively chair to recline, take a couple spins, and rest my feet on the stack of papers which, in a few short minutes, would be come waste basket liner. fuck me... life, that great bitch, popped it head in my office door and reminded me that i dont know piss. if i really wanted to take reigns and start pulling myself together then i needed to be able to take a look at all my shit, have it all laid out in front of me, and like a bully smacking the books out of my hand in the hallway in middle school that one time that i don't want to talk about... my shit is strewn across the floor right now, and i can stare at all of it.
and now i have to start picking it up...
hmm.. pretty intense stuff, so i'll give you a little candy to ease the pain
this band rules, check them out
Monday, June 1, 2009
i started a joke.... blog
so i've been reading some of my friends blogs. they're good. i enjoy them. so i made one.
i really think a blog needs a good focus, and i still haven't been able to really settle on one so i think these first couple posts will just be scattered thoughts and half-baked ideas and commentary till i really get my groove going...
speaking of groove
feel that...
i really think a blog needs a good focus, and i still haven't been able to really settle on one so i think these first couple posts will just be scattered thoughts and half-baked ideas and commentary till i really get my groove going...
speaking of groove
feel that...
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